What we actually wore: Valentine's part 2.

My Outfit

• Button down: JC Penney (previously)
• Pants: JC Penney (previously)
• Tie: JC Penney
• Oxfords: ? (previously)
• Belt: JC Penney

My Wife's Outfit

• Dress: Maurices
• Belt: Maurices
• Pumps: Maurices

I'm a little later than I meant posting this. (Wow, take a day off and the rest of the week goes nuts.) But I wanted to post what we actually wore for the big date. And some of the pictures from the evening. The evening started when my wife got home from work about 10 minutes after my previous post.

I was afraid my wife might be forced to work late, so our reservations were late enough to provide some extra time which we didn't need. So instead, I took back roads that my wife is less familiar with, and slowly drove by a lot of restaurants which also would have been suitable for the day. (Okay, and I also drove past a few fast food restaurants too, just to add more suspense...). The good news is that when she finally saw the restaurant sign, she was too confused to guess if it was our destination or not.

Neither of us had been to a Brazilian steakhouse before. But I have to say if your budget can afford it, I highly recommend the experience at least once. Unless you're a vegetarian: while they did have a pretty cool salad bar, the meats are what makes it awesome, and its not exactly a vegetarian/vegan friendly sort of place. For those who don't know, the staff is constantly circulating through the restaurant with skewers of steaks, and they constantly stop at your table and cut off whatever you want in whatever quantity you want. And it's all you can eat. I had the funny idea I wanted to sample one of each thing on the menu, but I couldn't make it. We did save room for dessert though. I'm not sure how. So after the restaurant, I suggested coffee at a Starbucks near the hotel, which my wife agreed to, still in shock over the pleasant surprise of the restaurant. After coffee, I feigned getting lost only to pull into the hotel parking garage a few minutes later. My wife was speechless at this point. I later showed her the previous blog post and everyone's comments, which she thoroughly enjoyed reading. The only real downside is that I have no clue how to top this next year.

And of course, my very surprised wife took some of the pictures in today's post, and I took the rest for once. I hope everyone has a wonderful (and possibly long) weekend, and maybe someday I'll get caught up on everything I'm behind on (including your wonderful blogs...)

Dinner and a haircut.

My outfit

• Dress: Asos (buy)
• Belt: Torrid (previously)
• Cardigan: Maurices (previously)
• Tights: JC Penney
• Boots: Nine West

My Wife's Outfit

• Top: Kohl's
• Skinny Jeans: Torrid
• Pumps: Nine West

The month of January was a bit of a rollercoaster, it had some major ups, and some frustrating downs, but mostly a lot of things to take up a lot of time. Hopefully my schedule will calm down for a bit. But this post is about a very big personal up for me. And since I said I would do Fabulous in February as organized by Hope and Melissa, I think this post will work into that quite well.

Early in January, I lucked into finding a seller on Craigslist who first had shoes in my size, and then clothes, and posted about that. For my second visit, I actually went dressed up, without my wife accompanying me, to see a person I didn't really know that well. That was a big deal for me, and a positive experience to be accepted by people in a situation like that. I'm sure I will post some outfits with the clothes I bought soon, but it turns out that was actually a good warm-up for the next weekend.

Our last haircuts were at Halloween, and we went in costume to get that haircut, and so I always had that to fall back on if anyone said anything. This time, however, there was nothing to hide behind. I dressed how I wanted, and thankfully, the hair salon we use is pretty cool like that. In hindsight, its hard to see why I was nervous, one of the stylists had a beard that went quite well with his dress. My stylist did a wonderful job on my hair, and that was a great start to the evening. And the outdoor pictures are at the park we've used several times before after the trip to the salon.

Next, we met up with two other female friends for dinner at an Asian fusion restaurant. I'll freely admit I was pretty nervous at this point, but I felt good about how I looked. We waited in the car until one of the friends arrived, and then headed in to get a table. Even though it was early, we ended up having to wait for a table, even after our other friend joined us. Dinner was good, and the waiter didn't say anything if he noticed.

Dinner ended up being a wonderful success. Ironically, the biggest shock of the evening was nothing. I felt pretty normal, and no one seemed to notice at all. We both enjoyed ourselves, got haircuts we were happy with, and had a fun dinner with some of our friends. I'm definitely looking forward to our next outing. I'm not sure when it will be, but the confidence boost I've gotten from my supportive friends and from all the wonderful support I've gotten from commenters and other bloggers.

And on that note, as part of Hope and Melissa's challenge, I'm supposed to list three positives about myself:

1. I'm honest. It's not always easy, and it doesn't always make getting along with other people easier, but I find it very difficult to deceive or maintain deceptions.
2. Crossdressing. I spent a good portion of my life feeling like crossdressing was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I still have plenty of down days. Whether this is a "lifestyle", a "hobby", or whatever, this is something I have never quite been able to "not" do. But this is part of who I am, and its not going away, and now I'm trying to enjoy and make it a positive, constructive part of my life.
3. I like my legs. It's probably my number one physical feature that gets comments here, and I don't think anyone had ever said anything about my legs before I started openly wearing skirts. And I admit I can't always see it myself, but I do like my legs, and I will say that here.

And with that, I hope I'll get back to a regular schedule and finding out what I've missed on everyone's wonderful blogs. And of course, my awesome wife took most of the pictures in today's post.

Snow bunny.

• Sweater: Old Navy
• Belt: Torrid (previously)
• Skinny Jeans: Z. Cavaricci via Torrid (previously)
• Boots: Torrid (previously)
• Gloves: Isotoner via JC Penney
• Scarf: Maurices

First, I know I got a little carried away with the pictures today, but I had some trouble narrowing down my favorites! :) The title is due to my wife who said I looked a little bit like a snow bunny in this outfit. I don't have many cowl neck tops or cable knit sweaters, but last winter I decided I really wanted a long off white cable knit cowl neck sweater, and a short trip to Old Navy later this sweater was mine. Rarely does my vision of a fashion need want pan out so perfectly and so quickly. I knew it was almost cold enough to post an outfit involving this sweater when I saw this post by Jamie of Thrifty Threads. And then a few days ago, I saw a post that reminded me that I should probably try a belt with this sweater the next time I wore it.

Today's question is from Pamela who has the awesome blog Call Me Ishmael, and she asks: Is there anything you want to (and/or wish to) wear that you feel you either can't (just doesn't fit your body or xyz) or just haven't been able to (for whatever reasons) yet?

This is a great question, and part of it is because my understanding and answer to it has changed over time. A few years ago, I would have said yes, partially because of my body type, and given a long list of things I wanted that I thought I would never have. Even worse, this affected my shopping habits, because I would buy things that didn't exactly fit and "settle" for "cheap" looking, ill fitting clothes and shoes, which only reinforced some of these negative feelings. Shoes, ironically, were and still are my biggest problem.

I have come to realize though, that a lot of my sizing problems are because I'm a plus size and that I was shopping in places that didn't have a great selection in plus sizes. Now, I suppose I will always be frustrated that a lot of shoe brands stop one size short of my size (or possibly worse: come in my size, but run small...). I have also found some places that sell some great plus size clothes and I know some brands and places that sell great shoes that usually fit. Also, the feeling that I can eventually find something great has really helped curb some of my excessive shopping, although it does make it hard to hold back when I find that "perfect" vision of something I've been looking for.

Its interesting, because although I am a male, and have a male body, I've really come to understand that this isn't my biggest obstacle. The human body, whether its male or female, comes in a lot more shapes and sizes than ready-to-wear clothes are designed to fit. In fact, having read blogs by plus sizes, "core" sizes, petites, really tall people, people who have decided to make their own clothes, and others, I have really come to learn that it seems like everyone has at least some of the same problems with fit that I do. And while that's no fun for anyone, its been helpful to learn that I'm not alone in these frustrations. If something doesn't fit, its not the human body's fault, but the clothes that are at fault. Thankfully, it seems like some retailers are doing better about providing more options for the wide variety of shapes and sizes out there. Of course, that doesn't change the fact that if the shoe fits... I'm probably going to buy it immediately.

Okay, so some specific things that I've been wanting. Shoes are pretty high on the list (like I need another pair! :) ), specifically pair of black patent leather pumps with an almost round toe with a hidden platform and no seam in the front. I've also been wanting a pair of tall, plain, cognac/light brown boots with a round toe, a bit of a platform, and a chunky heel. And while I won't list specific the specific costume, an adult plus size version of the halloween costume I wanted to wear as a child that my parents denied me. (This perhaps might be a final bit of passive aggressive childhood rebellion. :) ) The perfect knee length party dress with a skirt that's not too full, basically a "little black dress", but it doesn't have to be black to make me happy. I am actually on a bit of a mission to find some slips lately as well. And in a somewhat related vein, I occasionally want to find some... sexy stuff. This could have gone in a previous post, but I have a swimsuit that's too nice to swim in, so I wouldn't mind a more practical swimsuit, and the opportunity to wear it.

But after listing all that, I am reminded again how incredibly lucky I am. Many of those items are as much about budgetary planning as fit. I feel richly blessed for the life I have. I am lucky enough to be able to afford owning a wardrobe that I can't use. It was a strange day when I woke up and realized I had a "complete" wardrobe. There will always be one more pair of perfect shoes, or one more style or trend that I want to try, but is that really any different from anyone else?

And of course, I have to thank my gorgeous wife for doing my hair and taking the pictures in a snow storm. (And for the record, these pictures were taken walking distance from our home, so its not like we risked life and limb to get them!)

Long skirt and no jacket.

• Top: JC Penney (previously)
• Belt: Torrid (previously)
• Skirt: Cato
• Boots: Torrid
• Bracelets: Torrid (previously)

This is my only long skirt, and I bought it a while back because I wanted to try a longer skirt, but I'm never sure how to style it. The fabric is pretty heavy and its really warm, which is great when its below freezing outside, but that also makes it a fall/winter piece only. Unfortunately, this will be the one and only appearance of these boots on this blog. I've given them several chances to get broken in, but every time I wear them they squeeze too tight in the middle of my foot, which I think is a pretty weird way to not fit. They left my feet hurting after wearing them a relatively short time. I have 5" heels that hurt less than these boots. But enough with the negatives. I like how this outfit turned out, and I think the skirt worked really well, and I have plenty of other shoes that will work just as well with this.

I'm still behind on all kinds of things, but maybe I can get caught up on my blogs this weekend! This weekend we also have our first (and so far only) holiday party to go to. I won't be wearing anything I would post here, but that's okay, it should still be a lot of fun! And I really hope everyone has a great weekend!

Just as a reminder, I always enjoy answering question, so definitely feel free to ask away. And of course, as usual my magnificent wife took the pictures today.

Orange and purple.

• Top: Cato
• Cami: Cato
• Vest: Maurices (buy it)
• Skirt: Isaac Mizrahi for Target
• Purple Tights: JC Penney (previously)
• Boots: Target
• Bracelet: Torrid (previously)

I frequently associate orange and purple with Halloween, but when I put this outfit together, I was thinking they really work great for fall in general. I was also trying to break my neutral heavy rut. Of course, its cold like winter here, so maybe its not really time for a "fall" outfit anymore, and this was all just wishful thinking on my part. I know the short sleeves were wishful thinking, but I was indoors the whole time I wore this outfit, with no intent to go outside.

I have another question to answer today. This one is from the fabulous Pamela of Call Me Ishmael: Where do you most want to go dressed as a woman? For what occasion? I think you mentioned something about a wedding or ball before. Anything else?

What I really want is to get dressed in the morning without having to consider the gender of my clothes, and just go about my day normally. As it stands, I'm pretty sure that's not realistic most days, but I do feel like I'm close to a place where I can go out and about some of the time. It just takes some advance planning and preparation. However, there are some situations where I frequently find myself wishing I could wear an outfit I would post here. And since that's what Pamela asked, here is a list of those places in no particular order.

• I mentioned this one previously. I would like to wear a nice formal dress to a formal event. Maybe its because I remember all the formals, proms, and dances I went to while I was in school where I was often jealous of all the pretty dresses. One day, I would really like to get dressed to the nines in formal wear and go to really swank event or dance.
• This one is related to the previous one, but since I joked about it in the other post, I thought I would expand on it. I have always enjoyed weddings, and while I had a close male friend ask me to be a groomsman once, I have sometimes thought it would be really special if one of my close female friends ever asked me to be a bridesmaid. (And then my next thought is usually to ask myself what would a male bridesmaid be called?). Of course, this would probably be a horrible idea, and weddings should be all about the couple, but I like the idea of being there for my friends on their special day. Also, I have a long and highly qualified resume documenting my skills at extreme car decoration during the reception. Okay, maybe that last one isn't helping my argument! :) (Hehe, it also doesn't help that the idea of male bridesmaids shows up in pop culture occasionally, like here and here!)
• I also like the idea of going dressed up to informal parties and other social events with friends. This is actually something that I am getting the opportunity to do now, since I have a circle of friends who are accepting of how I like to dress. Its not like there are opportunities on an extremely regular basis, and most of our friends live one city over from us, but next year is looking up on this count.
• I'm sure to no one's great surprise, shopping is high on the list too. Especially the idea of making a real day of it with some friends, and going to a city with lots of great shopping options (and preferably reasonably far away from home for anonymity reasons...). Of course, this one is as much limited by budget as other concerns, so I guess I need to start saving up for it. :)
• A "(Mostly) Girls Night Out". The idea of getting dressed up and going out with small group of close friends to a nice restaurant, followed by a movie, play, or some other fun and/or cultural event or even a nice club. I'm not sure if this counts as irony, but I wouldn't actually want to exclude any gender from this sort of event. Earlier this year, some friends had a tea party and hosted a Mary Kay consultant during the tea. Afterward we all went to a restaurant and then to play pool. The evening was actually completely mixed gender. Okay, well, I was the only guy who elected to go to the Mary Kay part (the other guys watched a movie in a different part of the house), and I ended up changing before we went out for the rest of the evening. So I'm including this one because doing more things like this appeals to me, especially the part where I don't change clothes halfway through.
• I really enjoy office styles a lot, and so the opportunity to conduct business dressed up really appeals to me as well.
• When I was in college, a friend of mine showed up to class one day in a 3 piece suit. We asked him what the occasion was, to which he deftly responded, "Laundry Day." And so the last "place" it something I have probably mentioned before as well. Some days, I just want to get up and dress up for what many would say is "no reason at all". I do think there is a reason though. I want to dress up for myself, and when someone asks why, I don't want to feel embarrassed that I just wanted to look fabulous, and hide behind being out of "regular" clothes. (In all fairness to my friend, he was, in fact, completely out of other clean clothes. I guess doing your own laundry is a life skill too frequently learned in college.)

And of course more questions are always welcome, so definitely feel free to post more. I will always try my best to answer them. This week has been mildly crazy as well, so I must apologize for the lack of posts and being behind in general. And of course today's pictures were taken by my lovely wife.

My extra late halloween post.

My Halloween Costume

• Top: Maurices
• Skirt: Torrid
• Petticoat: Torrid (here)
• "Knee" High socks: We Love Colors (here)
• Shoes: Payless (here)
• Other shoes: Gabriella Rocha via Zappos(here)

My Wife's Halloween Costume

• Top: JC Penney
• Skirt: Hot Topic
• Tights: JC Penney
• Shoes: Payless (here)

We decided that our costume this year would be "twin" school girls. Since the party was going to involve a lot of dancing, my wife and I chose to wear identical flats. On Saturday, my wife was going to wear a different costume (I guess that one will just roll over to next year), and I was going to wear a nice pair of Mary Jane style heels with this costume. I'm glad I took both pairs of shoes for the pictures, because I really like the heels and I've been saving them back from the blog for this costume.

Earlier this year, my wife and I found a really cool hair salon from a friend's recommendation, unfortunately after our one and only visit, we found when booking another appointment that our totally awesome hair stylist no longer worked there. Instead of asking for a different stylist, we just did what most people do when presented with a frustrating low priority task: procrastinate until its a high priority. We ended up not booking another appointment until last week. We had both arrived at the point of really needing a haircut and I had a brilliant idea.

Brilliant ideas are a scary thing right? Thankfully this brilliant idea didn't involve Nair, and turned out much better. We booked our hair appointment the day of the party we attended. When booking the appointment, I asked if it was okay for us to come in costume. They said yes. Emboldened, I sheepishly asked if it was okay for me to come in crossdressed in costume. Silence. Oops was the thought that flashed in my mind. Followed by getting put on hold. Apparently, that request prompted her to ask her superviser. But she said that was also okay.

Fast forward to the day of the party. We arrived at the hair salon, and the stylists later said they were impressed with my confidence. I didn't point out that sudden moves, loud noises, or even a stiff breeze would have revealed how thin my confidence truly was. I was aware that some of the customers in the salon were staring a hole in me. Thankfully it was a fairly light crowd that afternoon. We lucked out with our new stylists. They were awesome, and just like the first visit, the real shocker turned out to be that I'm straight. The stylist had neighbors and friends that are drag queens, so crossdressing was no big deal to her. We mostly ended up talking about clothes and shopping. The stylists did an awesome job with our hair, and we were both extremely pleased.

After the hair appointment, we had some time before the party for pictures in an obscure nearby park. Since this really is a special post, and because I was exceptionally happy with my makeup and hair, I cropped the pictures a little higher (um, we also forgot to get a few planned shots in all the excitement, and yes, my amazing wife took all the pictures, except the ones of her, I took those). Since I've discussed hair removal before, some notes on these pictures: I just shaved really good with a new blade, and then we used concealer, and covered it with a powder foundation. This actually worked great, but the concealer showed through in some pictures later in the night when we used the flash. The problem is partially that I don't like full coverage foundation, and we've had trouble matching my skin tone as well. It kinda gets expensive to keep trying different foundations too.

We ended up getting there a bit early, and the first batch of attendees were mostly not in costume. That did change as the night went on, but it was still surprisingly light on people in costume. We didn't know anyone at the party. Honestly, it was probably easier that way. However, I was not the only guy in a skirt. There was a guy who seemed to fit the comedian category, and there were a couple of guys in kilts (Seems like I missed a category in my previous post).

While we were sitting out a song and watching other people dance, I was approached by a guy who asked me to dance. At first I thought it was just someone being silly and I said, "Noooo". Feeling a little awkward, my wife did jump up and agree to dance with him. He seemed a little off put, so my wife later reported the conversation something like this:
Wife: "Oh, don't worry, you just surprised him."
Guy: "Him?"
Wife: "Yeah."
Guy: "Uh... that's a pretty good costume" trailing into nervous laughter.

One woman forgot that it was costume night and asked if we were dressed for a sorority function. Another guy was teaching some dance lessons and asked if we "ladies" wanted to join the lesson. We declined. One woman told me, "You make a convincing girl". It was becoming clear that while not everyone was fooled, that some people really did think I was a female.

The main event turned out to be the costume contest judging. They asked the girls to line up so they could "strut their stuff". Quite reasonably, I thought, not every girl wanted to "strut their stuff" and so there were some holdouts hiding in the audience. The girls in line started cajoling their peers to get in line too, most of them eventually acquiesced. Finally, they started calling out to me.

At first, I thought it was a joke, I really did. But it was apparent that at least some of them were serious. I finally told them that I was a guy in front of everyone, and after a bit of pause one of them pointed out that I was in a "very confusing state". After that, I decided a low profile was best and didn't join in the men's line. Honestly though, I was also hoping that if we were going to be judged that it would be for a "ensemble" costume since my wife and I went together. I also found it interesting that several of the guys who got in line were not in costumes, unlike the women's line. The comedian crossdresser ended up placing second, and in strutting his stuff, did some comedic overplaying of femininity, and that's not something I was interested in doing, so ultimately, I'm glad I didn't participate in the contest.

I certainly take it as a compliment that some people thought I was a female, and I even admit that I enjoyed it. I want to point out though, that even if I were go out on a "regular" night dressed to the nines, being counted as a girl is not my goal. In conversations with my wife, I mentioned that I felt that I was getting stared at a lot. My wife pointed out that it felt more like being out with one of her female friends from college, in particular, the way males were looking us over. On a lighter note, I have never danced in a skirt, that part was also lot of fun. The spinning was one of my favorite parts! A lot of the people who did figure it out were extremely cool about it. The night ended up being a lot of fun, and this year ended up being a lot different than last year.