Short skirt and a long jacket.

• Button down: Old Navy
• Vest: Maurices (previously)
• Skirt: Old Navy
• Pantyhose: Just My Size
• Pumps: Nine West (buy (Cognac color))
• Jacket: Kohl's

This is another outfit from last week. When I put on this skirt, I realized it was a little shorter than I remembered when I bought it. But I figured it was okay, especially since I was staying indoors. And this is the blog debut for this pair of heels. I mention them because they are one of my favorite pairs of shoes. They're really comfortable for the height, and I love the color. I decided that if I'm going to be crazy enough to wear a short skirt in December I might as well pair it with a great pair of shoes. And I'll be honest... I just put the jacket on so I could use this title.

I know a lot of bloggers talk about how awesome the style blogging community is, but it really is. Its definitely made this holiday season more fun for me in a lot of ways both big and small! And there are amazing style bloggers like Bombshell Beauty who do wonderful things like this. And there are so many other wonderful bloggers out there too(like Megan, Pamela, and Melissa just to name a few. and I really can't link to everyone, the list is too long!) Anyway, thanks everyone! And of course, my fabulous and awesome wife took the pictures!

Snow bunny.

• Sweater: Old Navy
• Belt: Torrid (previously)
• Skinny Jeans: Z. Cavaricci via Torrid (previously)
• Boots: Torrid (previously)
• Gloves: Isotoner via JC Penney
• Scarf: Maurices

First, I know I got a little carried away with the pictures today, but I had some trouble narrowing down my favorites! :) The title is due to my wife who said I looked a little bit like a snow bunny in this outfit. I don't have many cowl neck tops or cable knit sweaters, but last winter I decided I really wanted a long off white cable knit cowl neck sweater, and a short trip to Old Navy later this sweater was mine. Rarely does my vision of a fashion need want pan out so perfectly and so quickly. I knew it was almost cold enough to post an outfit involving this sweater when I saw this post by Jamie of Thrifty Threads. And then a few days ago, I saw a post that reminded me that I should probably try a belt with this sweater the next time I wore it.

Today's question is from Pamela who has the awesome blog Call Me Ishmael, and she asks: Is there anything you want to (and/or wish to) wear that you feel you either can't (just doesn't fit your body or xyz) or just haven't been able to (for whatever reasons) yet?

This is a great question, and part of it is because my understanding and answer to it has changed over time. A few years ago, I would have said yes, partially because of my body type, and given a long list of things I wanted that I thought I would never have. Even worse, this affected my shopping habits, because I would buy things that didn't exactly fit and "settle" for "cheap" looking, ill fitting clothes and shoes, which only reinforced some of these negative feelings. Shoes, ironically, were and still are my biggest problem.

I have come to realize though, that a lot of my sizing problems are because I'm a plus size and that I was shopping in places that didn't have a great selection in plus sizes. Now, I suppose I will always be frustrated that a lot of shoe brands stop one size short of my size (or possibly worse: come in my size, but run small...). I have also found some places that sell some great plus size clothes and I know some brands and places that sell great shoes that usually fit. Also, the feeling that I can eventually find something great has really helped curb some of my excessive shopping, although it does make it hard to hold back when I find that "perfect" vision of something I've been looking for.

Its interesting, because although I am a male, and have a male body, I've really come to understand that this isn't my biggest obstacle. The human body, whether its male or female, comes in a lot more shapes and sizes than ready-to-wear clothes are designed to fit. In fact, having read blogs by plus sizes, "core" sizes, petites, really tall people, people who have decided to make their own clothes, and others, I have really come to learn that it seems like everyone has at least some of the same problems with fit that I do. And while that's no fun for anyone, its been helpful to learn that I'm not alone in these frustrations. If something doesn't fit, its not the human body's fault, but the clothes that are at fault. Thankfully, it seems like some retailers are doing better about providing more options for the wide variety of shapes and sizes out there. Of course, that doesn't change the fact that if the shoe fits... I'm probably going to buy it immediately.

Okay, so some specific things that I've been wanting. Shoes are pretty high on the list (like I need another pair! :) ), specifically pair of black patent leather pumps with an almost round toe with a hidden platform and no seam in the front. I've also been wanting a pair of tall, plain, cognac/light brown boots with a round toe, a bit of a platform, and a chunky heel. And while I won't list specific the specific costume, an adult plus size version of the halloween costume I wanted to wear as a child that my parents denied me. (This perhaps might be a final bit of passive aggressive childhood rebellion. :) ) The perfect knee length party dress with a skirt that's not too full, basically a "little black dress", but it doesn't have to be black to make me happy. I am actually on a bit of a mission to find some slips lately as well. And in a somewhat related vein, I occasionally want to find some... sexy stuff. This could have gone in a previous post, but I have a swimsuit that's too nice to swim in, so I wouldn't mind a more practical swimsuit, and the opportunity to wear it.

But after listing all that, I am reminded again how incredibly lucky I am. Many of those items are as much about budgetary planning as fit. I feel richly blessed for the life I have. I am lucky enough to be able to afford owning a wardrobe that I can't use. It was a strange day when I woke up and realized I had a "complete" wardrobe. There will always be one more pair of perfect shoes, or one more style or trend that I want to try, but is that really any different from anyone else?

And of course, I have to thank my gorgeous wife for doing my hair and taking the pictures in a snow storm. (And for the record, these pictures were taken walking distance from our home, so its not like we risked life and limb to get them!)

Black and khaki.

• Sweater: Target (previously)
• Skirt: Old Navy
• Scarf: Maurices (previously)
• Tights: Lane Bryant
• Boots: Payless (previously)

Black with a khaki skirt has always been a classic combination in my mind, and when I saw eek's post the other day, I realized I hadn't posted a combo like that on here before. Edit: I also realized I was inspired by this outfit Hope posted a while back! And although I was keeping it simple with this outfit, I did want to add this scarf to add a little extra pop to the outfit. (And I tied it like this in case anyone is curious) And I realize I have yet again gone with a heavy neutral palette. I definitely need to remember to bring some more color into my winter wardrobe. I guess there's always tomorrow.

I also thought I would remind everyone that I love answering questions. I also realized that since I have attracted some new readers recently (Welcome everyone!), and also just for anyone who hasn't noticed this, that I always try to tag posts where I answer questions with "q and a". I also received a question from Thrifty Momma on my last post: Not sure if you addressed this but I wanted to say at least you are being honest with your wife!! and I was wondering if you two share clothing and give each other tips?

My wife takes the pictures, reads the blog, and reads the comments. So not only is she aware, she is also a (mostly!) willing participant in my interest in fashion, and that is hopefully clear to anyone reading as well. And for all of her help and acceptance, I'm profoundly grateful. But I do want to address the honesty aspect, since I'm pretty sure I haven't discussed it before. My wife is my best friend, and I always try to be honest with her about everything. The only secrets I try to keep are presents and surprises.

My wife was made aware of my interest while we were just dating, and it was not an easy discussion. To make matters more complicated, at the time I did not think my interest was morally acceptable, so I certainly didn't ask her to think it was okay. It wasn't the easiest thing for her to deal with then as well. It has not been an easy road reaching acceptance for either of us. It wasn't until shortly after our marriage that we both reached a productive level of acceptance, and even still, I have times that I struggle with it. The thing is, I do think its mostly a positive part of our lives now, and fashion is a fun creative outlet for me, and we both accept this. Starting this blog has opened up a safe avenue for me to find other people that share my interest in fashion who also find what I'm doing acceptable. My wife has been thrilled at the response this blog has received, and its definitely helped both of us out a lot.

I have discussed before that we do not share clothes. Our clothing and shoe sizes are just too different for that to work. We do occasionally share accessories though, and my wife has borrowed one of my purses before. Of the two of us, I think I enjoy fashion and shopping more, but we do help each other put together outfits and shop for clothes, and I have picked out entire outfits for my wife on a few occasions at her request. :)

And of course today's pictures were taken by my awesome wife.

Timing is everything.

• Sweater: Maurices
• Cami: Maurices
• Skirt: Maurices (previously)
• Boots: Indigo by Clarks via Amazon
• Pantyhose: Just My Size via Walmart
• Coat: Kohl's
• Scarf: Kohl's (came with the coat)

This is one of my favorite outfits. Its one of the first outfits we bought at Maurices after I got "okay" with my interest in fashion. I saw it on one of the store displays and bought it "as is" off the mannequin. The boots weren't with it, of course, I bought those later. They are actually one of my favorite pairs of boots too. I really like their dark brown color, and while they aren't leather, I found them on Amazon and watched them until they went on clearance for $25 (they were originally around $125). I really love how they look and they are extremely comfortable to boot! I have been waiting for the "right" occasion to wear this outfit since I started the blog. Unfortunately, I have had several opportunities lately to go out dressed and socialize, but various things interrupted those opportunities at the last minute. So this past weekend, we finally got dressed up to go out, even though we had no real plan.

Now, while we had no plan for the day, it still worked out that almost nothing went according to our un-plan. How that works, I'm not sure, but that's what happened. We started off by getting a late start. We had tried contacting a friend or two, but it was a holiday weekend, so everyone was either busy or didn't get the message until too late. And why I thought one of the busiest shopping weekends of the year would be a great time to discreetly sneak out... I'm still not really sure what I was thinking actually. The evolving un-plan for the day ended up being: take some outdoor pictures and go to an uncrowded restaurant with a couple of friends and eat a quiet meal while dressed up. Or something like that.

In addition to all the shopping traffic, on the way to the nearby larger city we discovered a sporting event was letting out. We discovered this because interstate traffic slowed to less than ten miles an hour for... most of the evening actually. In addition, due to our late start, we were rapidly running out of daylight (made worse by the traffic delays). At least the outdoor shots that turned out much better than I feared they would.

The shopping traffic plus the event traffic also meant every restaurant was packed, even the typically quiet restaurants we had picked out had lines. Ultimately I decided to put on the change of clothes I brought and wash off my makeup and so we wouldn't have to worry about the crowds.

On the whole, I'm not that disappointed. I think I would have gone in to a restaurant if pretty much any of the stuff that went awry had gone a little different, and the pictures did turn out nicely.

And of course, somehow, I had this idea I would get caught up over the holiday weekend here, and it turns out, I'm more behind than ever. I have not given up yet, and we'll see what this week brings. I hope this week brings me time take some outfit pictures, do some more posts, and read everyone's awesome blogs I have been missing. And of course I must add that my patient and wonderful wife took today's pictures (and she did my hair and makeup too).

BBCA 8: Variations on a cardigan.

• Top: Maurices
• Cardigan: Old Navy (previously)
• Scarf: Maurices (previously)
• Necklace: Maurices
• Skirt: Maurices
• Boots: Rack Room

This outfit is part of Melissa's Blogging for Breast Cancer aWEARness challenge. First, I want to say thank you for all the comments on yesterday's post! I have some thoughts for a short follow-up post, and I really enjoyed hearing everyone's thoughts on the subject. Every day I am continually amazed at how awesome style bloggers are, and how wonderful everyone who leaves a comment here really is! But today, I will be away from the computer for a while, so this post is going to be short and quick. It turns out a pink cardigan is a great way to cheat remix a lot of outfits for the challenge. For instance, this is the third outfit I have paired this cardigan with in less than a week. I think I have some more pink hiding in the closet, so I will definitely see what I can find for tomorrow. I'll also just go ahead and say I'm not 100% about how this outfit turned out, so I would definitely appreciate any feedback. And while I really like how this pair of boots look, they aren't my most comfortable pair to walk in, and I normally don't have trouble with heels this height or thinness, so they are in my "remix again to see what everyone thinks and maybe replace them" pile. And of course my beautiful wife took today's pictures.

Fun with contrasts.

Masculine Outfit

• Shirt: JC Penney
• Tie: JC Penney
• Brown Belt: JC Penney
• Pants: JC Penney
• Black Oxfords: ? ancient

Feminine Outfit

• Shirt: Old Navy (previously here)
• Scarf: Maurices
• Black Belt: Torrid (previously here)
• Pants: Maurices
• Brown Oxfords: Payless

Since today's post is going to be all about answering Meli's question (and then some...) from last Friday, I thought I would do more with the idea of constrasting "masculine" and "feminine" clothing. I have worn the "same" outfit styled in both a "feminine" and "masculine" version.

So last Friday, Meli22, who has the most excellent blog The Daily Insanity of a Fashion Addict asked: I've been meaning to ask- are you as sharp looking when dressed to 'fit in' as a guy? Or is this the only time where you focus your creative energy on style? It would be cool to see a 'man' style file once in a while, if you expressed yourself in the fun way like you do when you dress feminine! :) Sadly, the short answer is "not usually". But I wanted to write a post about this because I thought it might be interesting to talk about why, how I am changing that, and some of my experiences with "men's fashion" in general. In a recent email exchange talking with a long time friend I have not seen in years, I explained to him my interest in women's clothing and sent him a link to this blog, he responded with "I took a look at the style blog and have to say you have fantastic female fashion sense. Those outfits look great. How come you always dress like such a slob when wearing men's clothing?" In all fairness, we have rarely seen each other since college, and I will have everyone know I dress at least a cut above slob when wearing "menswear". I think. :)

I have tried to experiment with men's fashion over the years. Many of my experiments were timid though, and ended up relegated to a disused and dusty corner of my closet through my own fears. I want to change that, and I am changing that. So in the future, things like hats, pocket squares, vests, cardigans, ties, bow ties, v-neck shirts and sweaters, french cuff shirts, and nice leather oxfords are all actual menswear pieces I need more of, and need in every color. Thankfully, my blog is helping me work through some of these things, and I am finding myself more free to experiment, even if its only a polo shirt in every color.

So I think the root of my trouble with men's fashion is that I have internalized a collection of social norms and messages about masculinity that, on a good day, leave me with a set of bizarre hangups, and on a bad day with very toxic ideas about what is and is not masculine. Its easy enough to say that I don't actually believe these notions and should ignore the boxes of behavioral norms I have allowed other people to constrain me with, but I'm not sure its ever that simple. For instance, one way adventurous clothing choices can be policed is with the slur "that looks gay". Whether you feel its right or wrong, homosexuality is about a sexual interest in the same sex, and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with clothing choices. But that doesn't stop some people from informing someone that a particular clothing choice is "gay". The real meaning of the slur is "You're less of a man for wearing that." Which begs the question what is a "real man" and that is just as problematic and fraught with toxic ideas as defining a "real woman" or a "real person".

I have also been obsessed with labels. Labels on clothing in particular. While some people get obsessed with labels by a certain designer or a certain size label (I saw a link on A Pretty Penny about vanity sizing, and I suppose in a perverse sense of "equality" men's clothing is now subject to vanity sizing as well), I have been obsessed with "gender" labels on clothing. I think one of the many reasons for my interest in women's fashion is a feeling of freedom from my hangups about men's fashion.

In fact, one of the harder questions I've had to ask myself about clothing preferences is to ask "If this was the exact same article of clothing, but labelled for a man, would you be so interested in wearing it?" I think this question is probably impossible to answer, but at one time the answer for me would have probably been "No". At this point in my life I have a lot more peace with it, and the answer is much closer to my own ideal of "Yes, the label doesn't matter as much." (For some fun with gender labels and clothing, consider these two classic Seinfeld episodes: The Puffy Shirt and The Glasses, and if that's not enough, check out these men's shoes at Brooks Brothers.)

This has been alternatingly fun and difficult to write. I want to explain my personal experiences because I think it might be helpful, but whole books have been written on policing language and gender norms, and its not a simple topic. Last Friday's "Friend Friday" question coincided with many people referring to the post on Already Pretty: Shouldn't wear that. And I recently saw this fairly "normative" article on men's fashion: What Every Man Needs in His Wardrobe - Updated for the Next Decade which has its ups and downs, but points out that one distinction is that men's fashion is about often about quality and tailoring. Of course, it doesn't have to be. Much like Sal, I am not a fan of prescribed and proscribed "fashion" behaviors, so consider such "Fashion Rules for men" as this obscure absurdity: black suits for men are proper only for servants and the dead, also mentioned at Cubicle Chic in Style Sins: The Black Suit, from a section by The Gentleman, that has some posts with a more positive approach as well. On a more positive note, Academichic had a recent post on men's fashion as well: Academichic... Boy Style and I always enjoy their discussion of gender, feminism, and fashion, and this post was no different: I love color so much, but yet, I would be extremely timid about wearing such bold awesome red pants in a "masculine" presentation. For me, the goal is to reach a place where I would. And when I get there, I don't want to stop wearing my high heels, blouses and wide belts. I just want the label to stop mattering at all.

Thank you for reading, I know this one was a little long. I hope everyone has a great day. And I have to thank my beautiful wife for taking the pictures and helping patiently in numerous ways with this post.

The Full Windsor.

• Top: Old Navy (previously worn here)
• Scarf: Maurices
• Capri Pants: Maurices
• Heels: Torrid

I had fun with this look I wore yesterday. Maybe this sounds a little crazy, but I actually like menswear inspired pieces or at least playing with "masculine/feminine" contrast. Okay, that probably just sounds pretentious. Its really just an excuse to explain why I tied a scarf in a full windsor. And even the idea of using a scarf as a tie I borrowed from another blogger (I Get Dressed). So while it was still too warm to wear a fall look, I thought it would be fun to add this scarf as a "please cool down so I can wear fall stuff" look. I had to loop the scarf a few extra times to get the length right, but I think it works. Sorta. The scarf kept doing funny things, and we had to take a lot of pictures just to get these 3. I think I would highly recommend this. Actually, I highly recommend tying something in a full windsor. Its a fun knot to tie. Much more fun than its lazy cousin the half windsor.

Yesterday, Lori, who has the totally awesome blog LORISPEAK, asked this question: Out of curiosity, do you change into your lovely outfits when you come home from work? It's just funny cuz a lot of people dress up for work and then put on their sweats when they get home, but you get so cute and dolled up! I wish I could say these are my clothes everyday, after work or not. I rarely go out dressed, but I do try to sneak out every so often, even if its just for a fabulously dressed fast food drive thru trip. Unfortunately, since I usually leave the house at least once a day, I rarely get to dress up for the whole day, and its usually too hard to dress up for even half the day, so I have to take what opportunities I can to dress up the few days a week it is a possibility. Some weeks I don't even get to dress up at all actually. Although since starting the blog, I am getting to dress up more often, but its still not every day. While I am new to style blogging, I know most style bloggers go for either an "outfit they wore that day" format while others go for a more "artistic" blog with less frequent but more whimsical photos and outfits. Since I don't quite fit in either of those categories I get a little vague about the pictures and when they were taken because I like the idea of the "outfit of the day" format, but I can't really dress up every day. So I guess the pictures here really are an "outfit of the day", just not "the outfit I wore for a day". When it comes to actually taking pictures, we've sorta fallen in to the routine of pulling together several outfits one or two days a week and taking pictures so I have some options to pick for each day. I work from home, but I do have to go out for meetings, errands, and that sort of thing, so I don't usually dress like this everyday. Some afternoons everything cooperates and I will get to dress how I want for most of the evening, and we'll take pictures when my wife gets in from her job. I hope everyone understands about the pictures. I really enjoy the conversations and interactions I've had with other bloggers, but I'm just trying to honestly deal with the constraints in my own life. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone.

Thanks for reading along, and as always, I love answering questions, so ask away in the comments! I hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll be back next week. And of course, as usual, my amazing wife took the pictures.