September's Last Call.

• Top: Maurices
• Skirt: Maurices
• Belt: Torrid
• Wedges: Payless

This is an outfit from earlier in the week, and with the weather finally turning, I expect (er, hope?) this will be one of the last summery outfits I post until next year! And hey, its also the last day of September, which is a good thing, I think. September was a wild and crazy month for me and its ending with a wild and crazy day. My wife and I puzzled over this outfit too, she made some suggestions and I kept tweaking things until I just kinda stopped here. I really like it though, I think, but it still feels like something is missing. And of course my beautiful wife took the pictures and made suggestions about the outfit.

Spring into Fall.

• Top: Maurices
• Skirt: Maurices
• Flower Headband: Maurices
• Wedges: Payless

First, I have to say thank you to everyone for their response to yesterday's post! I definitely have some more fun ideas to try that incorporate more "menswear" into the blog in the future, now I just need those ideas to work out! And of course, as always I love questions to answers.

It finally feels like fall here, albeit a dreary rainy day type of fall, but I was unprepared with my pictures. So for today, you get something more springlike. I think I've been coming down with something for the past few days too, which probably means I put this together to protest dreary days and feeling sick! We'll go with that explanation. I may have to skip out on a post tomorrow but if I do, I'll be back on Thursday. I hope everyone is having a great day with as much fall as they can handle! And of course, my delightful wife took the pictures for today!

Fun with contrasts.

Masculine Outfit

• Shirt: JC Penney
• Tie: JC Penney
• Brown Belt: JC Penney
• Pants: JC Penney
• Black Oxfords: ? ancient

Feminine Outfit

• Shirt: Old Navy (previously here)
• Scarf: Maurices
• Black Belt: Torrid (previously here)
• Pants: Maurices
• Brown Oxfords: Payless

Since today's post is going to be all about answering Meli's question (and then some...) from last Friday, I thought I would do more with the idea of constrasting "masculine" and "feminine" clothing. I have worn the "same" outfit styled in both a "feminine" and "masculine" version.

So last Friday, Meli22, who has the most excellent blog The Daily Insanity of a Fashion Addict asked: I've been meaning to ask- are you as sharp looking when dressed to 'fit in' as a guy? Or is this the only time where you focus your creative energy on style? It would be cool to see a 'man' style file once in a while, if you expressed yourself in the fun way like you do when you dress feminine! :) Sadly, the short answer is "not usually". But I wanted to write a post about this because I thought it might be interesting to talk about why, how I am changing that, and some of my experiences with "men's fashion" in general. In a recent email exchange talking with a long time friend I have not seen in years, I explained to him my interest in women's clothing and sent him a link to this blog, he responded with "I took a look at the style blog and have to say you have fantastic female fashion sense. Those outfits look great. How come you always dress like such a slob when wearing men's clothing?" In all fairness, we have rarely seen each other since college, and I will have everyone know I dress at least a cut above slob when wearing "menswear". I think. :)

I have tried to experiment with men's fashion over the years. Many of my experiments were timid though, and ended up relegated to a disused and dusty corner of my closet through my own fears. I want to change that, and I am changing that. So in the future, things like hats, pocket squares, vests, cardigans, ties, bow ties, v-neck shirts and sweaters, french cuff shirts, and nice leather oxfords are all actual menswear pieces I need more of, and need in every color. Thankfully, my blog is helping me work through some of these things, and I am finding myself more free to experiment, even if its only a polo shirt in every color.

So I think the root of my trouble with men's fashion is that I have internalized a collection of social norms and messages about masculinity that, on a good day, leave me with a set of bizarre hangups, and on a bad day with very toxic ideas about what is and is not masculine. Its easy enough to say that I don't actually believe these notions and should ignore the boxes of behavioral norms I have allowed other people to constrain me with, but I'm not sure its ever that simple. For instance, one way adventurous clothing choices can be policed is with the slur "that looks gay". Whether you feel its right or wrong, homosexuality is about a sexual interest in the same sex, and I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with clothing choices. But that doesn't stop some people from informing someone that a particular clothing choice is "gay". The real meaning of the slur is "You're less of a man for wearing that." Which begs the question what is a "real man" and that is just as problematic and fraught with toxic ideas as defining a "real woman" or a "real person".

I have also been obsessed with labels. Labels on clothing in particular. While some people get obsessed with labels by a certain designer or a certain size label (I saw a link on A Pretty Penny about vanity sizing, and I suppose in a perverse sense of "equality" men's clothing is now subject to vanity sizing as well), I have been obsessed with "gender" labels on clothing. I think one of the many reasons for my interest in women's fashion is a feeling of freedom from my hangups about men's fashion.

In fact, one of the harder questions I've had to ask myself about clothing preferences is to ask "If this was the exact same article of clothing, but labelled for a man, would you be so interested in wearing it?" I think this question is probably impossible to answer, but at one time the answer for me would have probably been "No". At this point in my life I have a lot more peace with it, and the answer is much closer to my own ideal of "Yes, the label doesn't matter as much." (For some fun with gender labels and clothing, consider these two classic Seinfeld episodes: The Puffy Shirt and The Glasses, and if that's not enough, check out these men's shoes at Brooks Brothers.)

This has been alternatingly fun and difficult to write. I want to explain my personal experiences because I think it might be helpful, but whole books have been written on policing language and gender norms, and its not a simple topic. Last Friday's "Friend Friday" question coincided with many people referring to the post on Already Pretty: Shouldn't wear that. And I recently saw this fairly "normative" article on men's fashion: What Every Man Needs in His Wardrobe - Updated for the Next Decade which has its ups and downs, but points out that one distinction is that men's fashion is about often about quality and tailoring. Of course, it doesn't have to be. Much like Sal, I am not a fan of prescribed and proscribed "fashion" behaviors, so consider such "Fashion Rules for men" as this obscure absurdity: black suits for men are proper only for servants and the dead, also mentioned at Cubicle Chic in Style Sins: The Black Suit, from a section by The Gentleman, that has some posts with a more positive approach as well. On a more positive note, Academichic had a recent post on men's fashion as well: Academichic... Boy Style and I always enjoy their discussion of gender, feminism, and fashion, and this post was no different: I love color so much, but yet, I would be extremely timid about wearing such bold awesome red pants in a "masculine" presentation. For me, the goal is to reach a place where I would. And when I get there, I don't want to stop wearing my high heels, blouses and wide belts. I just want the label to stop mattering at all.

Thank you for reading, I know this one was a little long. I hope everyone has a great day. And I have to thank my beautiful wife for taking the pictures and helping patiently in numerous ways with this post.

The Full Windsor.

• Top: Old Navy (previously worn here)
• Scarf: Maurices
• Capri Pants: Maurices
• Heels: Torrid

I had fun with this look I wore yesterday. Maybe this sounds a little crazy, but I actually like menswear inspired pieces or at least playing with "masculine/feminine" contrast. Okay, that probably just sounds pretentious. Its really just an excuse to explain why I tied a scarf in a full windsor. And even the idea of using a scarf as a tie I borrowed from another blogger (I Get Dressed). So while it was still too warm to wear a fall look, I thought it would be fun to add this scarf as a "please cool down so I can wear fall stuff" look. I had to loop the scarf a few extra times to get the length right, but I think it works. Sorta. The scarf kept doing funny things, and we had to take a lot of pictures just to get these 3. I think I would highly recommend this. Actually, I highly recommend tying something in a full windsor. Its a fun knot to tie. Much more fun than its lazy cousin the half windsor.

Yesterday, Lori, who has the totally awesome blog LORISPEAK, asked this question: Out of curiosity, do you change into your lovely outfits when you come home from work? It's just funny cuz a lot of people dress up for work and then put on their sweats when they get home, but you get so cute and dolled up! I wish I could say these are my clothes everyday, after work or not. I rarely go out dressed, but I do try to sneak out every so often, even if its just for a fabulously dressed fast food drive thru trip. Unfortunately, since I usually leave the house at least once a day, I rarely get to dress up for the whole day, and its usually too hard to dress up for even half the day, so I have to take what opportunities I can to dress up the few days a week it is a possibility. Some weeks I don't even get to dress up at all actually. Although since starting the blog, I am getting to dress up more often, but its still not every day. While I am new to style blogging, I know most style bloggers go for either an "outfit they wore that day" format while others go for a more "artistic" blog with less frequent but more whimsical photos and outfits. Since I don't quite fit in either of those categories I get a little vague about the pictures and when they were taken because I like the idea of the "outfit of the day" format, but I can't really dress up every day. So I guess the pictures here really are an "outfit of the day", just not "the outfit I wore for a day". When it comes to actually taking pictures, we've sorta fallen in to the routine of pulling together several outfits one or two days a week and taking pictures so I have some options to pick for each day. I work from home, but I do have to go out for meetings, errands, and that sort of thing, so I don't usually dress like this everyday. Some afternoons everything cooperates and I will get to dress how I want for most of the evening, and we'll take pictures when my wife gets in from her job. I hope everyone understands about the pictures. I really enjoy the conversations and interactions I've had with other bloggers, but I'm just trying to honestly deal with the constraints in my own life. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone.

Thanks for reading along, and as always, I love answering questions, so ask away in the comments! I hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll be back next week. And of course, as usual, my amazing wife took the pictures.

Neutral Polka.

• Dress: Cato
• Belt: Torrid (here)
• Shoes: Payless

This was yesterday's outfit. I've had this dress for a while and I like several things about it, but I've definitely felt like it needed something more. And then I saw this inspiring outfit by Collette who runs the awesome Statements in Fashion blog. I love colors a lot, and so while the temptation was there to add a color, I decided going with an all neutral look would be a lot of fun too, and so I replaced the matching fabric belt that came with the dress with this new gray belt I picked up at Torrid recently, and went with these black pumps with an architectural heel. As always, questions for me to answer are welcome in the comments. We didn't get to take these pictures until very late yesterday, and so I was informed by my wife that the adjective for today is sleepy. So as usual, these pictures were taken by my sleepy wife.

Funky florals?

• Top: Maurices
• Skinny Jeans: Z. Cavaricci via Torrid (worn previously here)
• Pumps: Nine West
• Necklaces: Maurices
• Bracelets: Torrid
• Bag: Nine West

This is actually an outfit from a couple of weeks ago, but I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about posting it. I really like all the pieces, I'm just not sure about the whole thing. I kinda think the top doesn't "work" with the rest of it. And the top and the shoes are both floral-ish(Sure, that's a word, right? right?) prints, and I like the color pairing, so I thought they might be fun, but now I'm not sure. But this is a style blog, mistakes and all, so I finally decided it was good enough to ask everyone else what they think. So, what do you think? :) I mean, personally, I think the sky is blue (Actually, looking out the window right now, its gray... so I'm wrong again... oh well). Okay, bad joke, I know. (I like bad jokes!)

So more than one style blogger has mentioned Halloween, so like fall, I figure that means I can officially be excited about it on my blog. And why am I excited? Because when I go to parties, I am not the only guy in a dress! Okay, I may still be the only guy in a dress, but it does lead to some funny conversations like "What are you going to do with those shoes the rest of the year?" (Wear them, duh!) or "Did you lose a bet?" (That would make this easier to explain wouldn't it?) or "I think your costume cost more than the prize?" (But its such a fabulous costume, who cares?) Most of the people who I expect to end up at the same parties are actually in the know, so it might be a bit more boring this year. But whatever the case, I will totally post my costume on here.

And as always, I love questions in the comment and I will try very hard to answer them in a future post. And of course, my totally awesome wife took the pictures.

Pattern mixing party.

• Cami: Maurices
• Shirt: Maurices
• Pinstripe Skirt: Maurices
• Belt: Torrid
• Shoes: ? via Amazon

Okay, so Sunday ended up being a crazy day, and yesterday I went on a road trip with a friend to a book signing, and now I'm playing catch up today (including comments on other blogs!). Unfortunately, now I'm a little wiped out, and so it would just be for the best if everyone pretends this entry was far more clever and entertaining than it is. Although I have to add, and I know this might be getting old, I'm amazed at how awesome and friendly style bloggers are. There's a lot of personal reasons I decided to do this blog, but it has ended up being about the people. Which surprised me. But it shouldn't, because one of the few things I know is that the best things in life are ALWAYS about the people: making connections, making new friends, finding out how truly special and creative other people are. So having said all that, I still really love questions in the comments, it makes these entries a lot easier for me to write!

The incredibly sweet Jasmine of Tragic Fairy Tales recently gave me The Sunshine Award. I really appreciate this, thank you Jasmine! But now I'm supposed to pass it on to 12 other bloggers. There are so many other great bloggers and other bloggers who already have it, that I would hate to pick favorites or leave someone out, and so I think I will have to pass on that part of the award. Again, thank you Jasmine!

And I would be remiss if I did not mention that my beautiful wife took these pictures (er, except for the picture for the award! ;) ).